A conversation runs both ways. You're either talking or listening with your full attention.
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Communication
It is a necessity
Positive communication between you and your children is the absolute key when it comes to keeping them out of trouble. Communication creates a comfortable atmosphere that is inviting for a positive talk and finding help.
Communication eliminates the worries about what your child is always doing beyond your presence. It establishes a relationship of trust. For a parent, this is the best feeling in the world. If you don't have trust with your child, you are going to age quickly with the stress they will bring you.
Know your child's friends and parents
It is important to know who your child is hanging around with at school, outside of school, and online. Talk with your children and make an effort to know their friends. The wrong crowd of friends is going to cause problems.
Also, make an effort in getting to know the parents of your child's friends. This way, communication is always open when you have to contact your child. If your child says they are at their friend's house that night, you should feel comfortable calling their parents to make sure that this is true and everything is okay.
Keep in mind that not all parents are responsible. This is unfortunate, so it is important to know whose house your child is going to spend time at.
Eliminate those worries
The beauty of having an open and honest relationship between your children is that you will have the following worries off your shoulders:
- You will know your child's friends and parents
- You will know of your child's activities
- You will know that they will come home on their curfew
- You will know how your child is doing in school
- Your child will come to you when they need to talk
- You will trust your child
Communication runs both ways
As a teenager, I would tell my parents about every hour of my day immediately after school. This was so regular that it may have even annoyed them, but the truth is that teenagers want someone to listen to them. It helped alleviate the stress of my day by talking about it.
You don't have to force a teen to sit down and talk in some family discussion—that is uncomfortable and awkward. Make conversation at casual times like car rides, dinner, during television commercials, and activities—there are plenty of opportunities!
In a high school survey I conducted, I asked teenagers what makes a good parent. The leading answer was having a parent that listens. It is important to talk with your children, but it is also important to listen.